...the good memories and even the difficult ones. Palmer left us 2 years ago today. Last year on this day I couldn't deal with the pain of that 1 year anniversary. I signed myself up for a post grad seminar April 1st and Phil and I stayed that night in a hotel near the Phoenix airport. We couldn't bear the thought of being in the empty house without him.
Today we just tried to keep busy. I saw patients this morning and tried not to look at the clock during "that hour". I broke down Sunday night. March 31st is my mother's birthday (she passed almost 14 years ago) and this year Easter fell on her birthday. When my husband said "tomorrow is April Fool's Day", it immediately hit me. I felt this warm rush of guilt and pain through my body when I realized this dreadful anniversary was around the corner.
Tonight we grilled salmon for dinner, in memory of Palmer. Salmon was his favourite food. His memorial Buddist Flag still hangs in our backyard and I still read it from time to time. It hasn't faded yet. Today we had beautiful warm weather and a soft cooling breeze. I stood in the backyard and listened to the breeze, and watched his flag sway. I felt like he was around me. I saw him running in the yard chasing rabbits and whatever else he could see.
In the last two years we immersed ourselves in work, restructuring our lives and recovering from just about everything. By last fall we started to think about filling our home with another set of four canine paws. I was just thinking. Phil was planning. By early December I gave in. We welcomed Randall, another mixed terrier into our family. The saga of dealing with canine renal disease will continue. We're suspecting it will continue with Randall now. More on that shortly.
About Palmer
- Melanie Dias-Zair
- We were blessed with a healthy (approximately) 2 1/2 yr old mixed terrier in 1998. The first two years or so we dealt with separation anxiety and some passive aggressive behaviour towards strange men. He then matured and only his loving tendencies showed. He always had a sad look to him but I always said he was just a deeply sensitive pooch. We think in his prior puppy life he was abused so loud sudden noises startled him and Phil (my husband) couldn't shout at the TV when watching a game without Palmer scurrying under the couch. He melted our hearts every day. He was an active "little monkey" as we called him- climbing up on sofas, chasing rabbits, lizards, any small creatures and only wanted to play with the big dogs.We plumped him up from his initial 12 lb weight to a healthy 16lbs. Unfortunately the renal disease which was detected in early 2004, at approximately age 8, slowly caused the muscle wasting down to 10 lbs- probably less on his last day. We'll be posting little stories among our clinical info, tips and experiences. Let's first tell you how it all began. (Please read the first post at the very bottom or click the Stories link to the left)
