Palmer's last year and a half were consumed with daily home care. Among many things, we were administering subcutaneous fluidinjections since Dec 2009 almost daily to help flush toxins out of his body. Eventually his pee breaks went from every 2-3 hours to every hour and he wasn't able to tell us he had to go outside. Phil and I would clock his routine, either in shifts or setting a timer to ding us when an hour was up to prevent accidents in the house. (Of course we werent perfect at this and Palmer sometimes had to void sooner).
Around last Christmas he started getting biweekly gastrointestinal problems- diarrhea, straining etc. But they would only last through the morning and he was back to normal by noon. We assumed this was the progression of kidney failure- other systems shutting down. He also exhibited dementia for at least two years, worsening in the last few months. We constantly had to pull him out of corners or out of the kitchen chairs where he often was trapped. Phil and I never openly spoke about it but deep down we both knew if his condition worsens significantly, then we would have to face that dreaded decision for Palmer's sake.
On Tuesday March 29th, 2011, his GI problems hit him hard and did not resolve. We were up all night, taking him outside almost every hour. He weakened quickly and his body seemed limp. Wednesday morning we watched him trying to stand at his bowls. Both this legs could barely support him. He sunk down to a sit position but seemed like he was trying to hold his back end up so stubbornly. He gazed at his bowls but was unable to sip the water or eat the food. For the past 15 months his motor nervous system was challenged every morning and Palmer found it difficult to pick up and hold food in his mouth to chew. However, by afternoon, all his neural input kicked in and he ate heartily. But not this day. At one point he looked at me and spoke to me through his narrow visioned eyes. It was the look I dreaded since the moment we brought him home. He told me he was done.
He was his weakest Wednesday morning. Phil and I observed him making weak attempts to touch his breakfast while his hind legs kept giving out. We looked at each other and knew. The tears spilled as we struggled to justify this horrible decision. But all we had to do now is just look at him and see that he was not comfortable now. Until yesterday, Palmer was content, actively eating, snuggled, grabbed cookies and jumped on us for treats.
When you are dealing with your pet's slow, progressive illness like this, it's so important you don't get lost in the day to day routine of care. You need to be aware of of his functional status. Charting his loss of function in a log may help you see things more clearly. Pehaps we were lost for a while too partly due to denial but Palmer was thankfully never in pain and he always had his appetite. In that case, your loving pet will always give you a sign. And you will know.
About Palmer
- Melanie Dias-Zair
- We were blessed with a healthy (approximately) 2 1/2 yr old mixed terrier in 1998. The first two years or so we dealt with separation anxiety and some passive aggressive behaviour towards strange men. He then matured and only his loving tendencies showed. He always had a sad look to him but I always said he was just a deeply sensitive pooch. We think in his prior puppy life he was abused so loud sudden noises startled him and Phil (my husband) couldn't shout at the TV when watching a game without Palmer scurrying under the couch. He melted our hearts every day. He was an active "little monkey" as we called him- climbing up on sofas, chasing rabbits, lizards, any small creatures and only wanted to play with the big dogs.We plumped him up from his initial 12 lb weight to a healthy 16lbs. Unfortunately the renal disease which was detected in early 2004, at approximately age 8, slowly caused the muscle wasting down to 10 lbs- probably less on his last day. We'll be posting little stories among our clinical info, tips and experiences. Let's first tell you how it all began. (Please read the first post at the very bottom or click the Stories link to the left)
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